Every child is different. Every child is unique. Every child learns things differently. No matter what people tell you, one way will not work the same way again when it comes to raising children. What works for my oldest probably won’t work the same for my second, and the same goes both ways.
Potty training is one of those things. I had friends and family members who told me how hard it was to potty train, and how they just gave up trying until they needed to. That scared me, as I did not want to be that way. I was worried about all the accidents, the horror stories about diaper substances being thrown around or played with. I was not prepared if that was to be my future.
Has Potty Training Been Difficult With Our Children?
Thankfully, it hasn’t been that way…yet… I hope it never comes to that with any of my children. That sounds terrible, horrific, and dreadful. I would deal with it if needed, but boy, does that make me not want to even try. I’m sure you are thinking the same thing. No worries, I am going to tell you exactly how I potty trained my oldest, maybe it will help you, maybe it won’t, but hopefully it will give you some insight as to what might be worth trying. You are not alone in this journey. It’s going to be hard, it’s going to be bumpy, messy, and sometimes gross, but you will get through it! Your children are learning right along with you! They, too, are trying to figure it out, be patient with them, and take a deep breath when you need one.
Almost a year ago to the day, one of my friends, whom we will call Ty, had recently finished potty training her youngest little girl, who is three months older than E is. This gave me the motivation I needed to potty train E. Keep in mind, I was five months pregnant at the time with baby U. Anyway, I decided I was going to go full force into trying to teach her to go potty before she turned two years old. I thought it was going amazingly. We started by buying a little potty seat to put on top of the toilet for easier sitting, and we bought books that talked about going potty. Then I would begin by taking her potty every half hour, and sitting her on the toilet every time to show her how to do it. Then I would sing a potty song by Daniel Tiger that goes as follows, “When you need to go potty, you stop, and go right away. Flush and wash and be on your way!” After reading the books, singing the songs, she caught on, and one time I sat her down, and she ended up peeing in the potty all by herself within that first week of trying. Then… It all went downhill from there.
She didn’t end up going again. She would refuse to go, refuse to sit on the potty, and refuse to even try. I decided to call it quits, deciding she wasn’t quite ready. Which, I truly don’t think she was. I do believe waiting until your kiddo is ready to potty train is going to have the best outcome. If you force someone to do something they physically are not ready or capable of doing, it will not turn out well, and probably won’t be successful in doing so. Needless to say, I decided to keep asking her throughout the days if she wanted to go try, and always keep an open mind about it. I’d still sing the songs, and ask her, because reminding her that it’s okay to not want to learn right now is okay. Someday she will, and she will be ready!
How Did Potty Training Start For Our Oldest?
Fast forward seven months to January 2025, Ethan and I were talking, and we decided we wanted E to be potty trained before we went on our big family vacation to Hawaii in March. We thought it would be so much easier for her to be potty trained during travel times, as well as on the trip itself. We made the decision to try potty training her again. This time, I printed out a sticker chart from online. Here is one you can buy if you want something reusable. Potty Training Chart. I again started by asking her if she had to go potty, and we would go try every half hour. If she sat on the potty and tried to go, she could put a sticker on the chart. If she went potty, I would let her pick a sticker to put on the chart as well as get a little reward for going. For the reward, we just used little candies like Tootsie Rolls. Positive reinforcement truly does help young minds learn and grow.
This began to be fun for not only E, but for me to see her learning, and actively wanting to go to the potty. She began peeing in the potty regularly, and so we switched from diapers to training undies. It took a bit longer for her to get up the courage to go poop in the potty, but once she did, she realized it wasn’t as scary as she thought it was. The sticker chart realistically worked for about two weeks straight, and then became just a piece of paper to sticker up just for fun every time she went into the bathroom to go potty. Though my whole goal for her was to potty train her, it became something she looked forward to doing because we made it fun. Having the sticker chart that she could put stickers on by herself, and letting her pick the stickers, gave her a sense of independence. Toddlers love to be independent and love to do things on their own, so this was perfect for her. The little reward gave her a sense of success and achievement. It helped her understand that what she did was deserving of a reward. Lastly, positive reinforcement and overdoing it with the “yay! I’m so proud of you!” every time gave her the biggest smile, knowing that we were proud of her and her actions. She knows that we love her and want her to learn and grow.
What Do We Do When Our Children Have Accidents Even Though They Are Potty Trained?
When she has accidents (which is normal, and she gets busy playing and forgets sometimes that she needs to go potty), we simply say, “That’s okay, accidents happen sometimes. Let’s go change you into some clean undies.” I’m not perfect, and I make accidents/mistakes all the time. I don’t get criticized by my loved ones every time I do, so why should I shame or criticize my children for having accidents or making mistakes? That would be incredibly hypocritical of me.
E has yet to potty train during her naps or at bedtime, but I think that’s one of those things where we will wait and try again with that a little down the road. It’s okay to wait; it’s hard to be patient sometimes, but we will get there eventually! She wears training undies all day,y other than naptime and bedtime, where she wears a pullup. She tells us that when she has to go potty, she knows that it’s important to flush and wash her hands every time she goes, and she knows that accidents can happen. We also just recently purchased a little stool for her to use when she goes potty in mine and Ethan’s bathroom, so that she doesn’t have to bring her little seat across the house.
Have We Seen A Change In Our Children After Potty Training?
Slowly integrating more self-independence for her has helped her to grow in ways I never knew possible. Up until this point, we’ve been mostly helping her go potty, but now she’s starting to do it on her own. Now, does she sometimes still need help or want help? Absolutely. I will always help her if needed and when she asks. Lately, her independence has sparked into getting dressed by herself, and boy, does that make me a little sad. My little girl is growing up, and I get to sit back and watch it happen. I get to help when she lets me, of course, and seeing her want to do things on her own shows just how much she has learned in these few years she’s had on Earth thus far.
We can learn a lot from our children, and if you take anything from this blog, I hope you know that potty training is not going to always be easy, it’s not always going to be figured out within a day, a week, a month, heck, maybe not even in a year. Take it bit by bit, try new ideas, and engage with your little one on their level, learn what they like and what they don’t like, and apply their likes to your potty training teachings. E likes stickers and treats, so I implemented them into teaching her how to use the potty, and it worked for us. That may not work for next time, but it’s what worked for her. Trial and Error is truly what it takes to try again, to try something new, and to get out of your comfort zone to expand your knowledge and help your children to do the same.
You are not alone! If you have any questions, any tips, tricks, or things you want to share, I am all ears! Feel free to comment on things you’ve done to potty train your children, maybe your insight and experience(s) can help someone else here know what to do, how to do it, and how not to feel like giving up!
“Potty training is a process, not a one-time event.”
McKenna Sanders
The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog
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