As a parent, it’s hard to sometimes put your dream above other things in your life, especially when there is always so much going on all of the time. I’m not saying we should be putting our dreams above our children, but I am saying to prioritize your dreams as well as your children.
How Can I Live My Best Life While My Children Are Young?
Just because you have a baby, doesn’t mean that all of a sudden your dreams, plans, hobbies, likes, and even dislikes go out the window; it means you get one extra person in your life to share them all with instead. Within reason and logic, of course… If you like skydiving, you aren’t going to go skydiving with a baby; that’s completely unsafe and irrational, but if you want to go skydiving, get a babysitter, or find a friend/family member to go with you to watch the baby while you go jump from a plane with a parachute. There are plenty of things you can do to include your baby/children, all while maintaining and balancing your love life, your littles, and your dreams.
If you like to paint, maybe offer some taste-safe/edible alternatives to your little one to join in the fun. If you enjoy reading books, try reading books to and with your littles during the day, or at night before you put them to bed. Maybe you like to run, bike, or go for walks. That’s great, because they make running strollers, normal strollers for walks, or little chariot-type strollers you can pull with your bike. Perhaps your dreams are more for future reference than an actual hobby that you can do right at this moment.
For instance, your dream may be to own your own business, buy a bigger house, buy your first car, get married, move across the country, etc. There are lots of dreams people have in this world that are completely kid-safe if you look and work hard enough.
Has it Been Easy For Me to Balance My Dream Life With My Children?
Balancing my marriage with my little girls and my dreams kind of came easily for me. Now, with that being said, I don’t always have the same type of free time to do what I want, like I did in High School. I don’t get to just snuggle up with Ethan whenever we get the chance and watch a movie, or take a nap. Life is constantly moving, meaning he has a full-time job, a part-time job, and schooling, all while taking care of us girls here at home.
He’s gone most of the day for his full-time job, he comes home and gets to spend time with us, but also has some work and studying to put in before bed. Not only this, but I have lots to do as well. I get busy planning meals, tidying up the house, folding laundry, doing dishes, making sure dinner gets made, creating content, writing blogs, etc. Both of us are busy, and with the littles needing our attention and care, it gets hard to have some alone time, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible! Our marriage is strong, but it also gets a little bumpy here and there, as does anyone’s.
We make time for one another, because (1) we want to make time for one another, (2) we desire a stronger relationship with each other and with God, and (3) we want our children to see that we are two imperfect people creating a beautiful life together with hardships, blessings, and all.
How Have I Balanced My Busy Life?
These three things are crucial to balancing our love life with the responsibility and amazing chance we get to be parents and individuals with our dreams all in the same go. Having that want to make time for one another and with each other is important in any relationship. If you don’t want to be with your partner/significant other, it’s not a healthy relationship, and you may need to get some outside help, such as from a counselor or therapist. That is completely okay and can be incredibly beneficial to your relationship with your partner and with yourself.
Having the desire to grow our relationship through bonding with God and each other is also a key component in balancing our love life. Without God, we wouldn’t be here, and without God, we would not have found each other. Without God, our marriage would suffer dramatically. Our relationship is connected to God as the point of our triangle. Have you heard that analogy? There are three points to a triangle. One is your partner, the other is yourself, and the other is God. God is the center point of the triangle, and you and your partner are the bottom corners. All three of you are connected; without one bond/relationship, there cannot be the other. See diagram below.
Strengthening our bond with one another helps us to keep a healthy relationship with one another, and with ourselves. It allows us to treat each other with respect, kindness, and ultimately love. Because we make time for each other, our family is also strengthened and blessed from the love we continue to have for one another. We become better parents when we set time for each other, and when we prioritize our marriage, our relationship, and each other’s needs.
Why is it so Important For Our Children to See Us as Human?
Number three, we want our children to see that we aren’t perfect people, we have arguments, we have disagreements, we get frustrated with one another, and we sometimes get hurt by the actions of the other. Regardless, though, we use our communication skills to work together to find solutions, to mend those hurt feelings, and to apologize to one another. We are setting the example for what we want our children to someday be able to have and share with someone. We want them to be able to find love that encompasses kindness, honesty, respect, a relationship with God, and unconditional love for themselves and their future partner.
How Important are our Children?
Finding this time to balance our love life is hard sometimes, but we know that it is necessary in maintaining healthy lives and making sure our family is taken care of. Speaking of family, our children are our whole world. Having them as part of our lives makes us feel valued, appreciated, loved, and wanted outside of our marriage, of course. Balancing life with littles is something I have yet to fully master. (If you have more ideas or tips that I haven’t already shared in this or previous blogs, please share them with me! Or if you just want to give me your opinions, I’d gladly hear what you have to say.) I am not a pro mom yet, but I like to think I’m pretty dang close…. sometimes… okay maybe not. My point is, I still have plenty of learning to do when it comes to raising children.
One of the best things I have learned thus far in being a mom is learning to balance my attention between the two girls. It’s a challenge learning how to give them both the attention they need at the same time, as well as at different times. Here’s a little daily morning routine for me and how I balance the time for each of my daughters:
- Wake up at 7 am and get ready for the day.
- At 7:30 am, I go quietly to baby U’s bedroom and get her up for the day.
- I spent that half hour nursing her and playing alone with her on her floor until 8 am.
- At 8 am, it’s time to get E up and ready for the day.
- Baby, U and I get E up and then we make some breakfast.
- After breakfast, we usually all play together with blocks, dolls, books, etc.
- Once it’s time for baby U’s first nap of the day, E and I get the chance to play one-on-one for a while until she wakes up.
There’s more to it, but that’s the gist, so when one is sleeping, I get to spend some alone time with the other, and while they are both awake, we get to play all together. Getting to see the girls play with one another in the daytime is also so fun. The balance of play versus work is also something I do to keep our lives flowing smoothly. While I love playing with them, I also have things I need to get done. Some days, I honestly forgo the house chores and responsibilities, because the relationships I am forming with my girls are more important to me than hanging up those shirts or folding those socks. Not saying they never get done, our laundry does get folded, hung up, and put away multiple times in the week. Creating this balance in my life with little is difficult, but it is possible.
How Can I Prioritize My Dreams?
My big dreams consist of a lot of things, some are hobbies I want to continue, hobbies I have yet to try, goals for our family’s future, drawing closer to the Savior and God, and so many more. The way I balance my dreams as an individual consists of (1) creating a list of things I want to accomplish within a certain time frame, (2) making and finding time to work on my goals, and (3) talking to someone to hold me accountable in accomplishing my dreams. Creating a list is as straightforward as it comes.
You can write a list down in a journal, on a whiteboard, a calendar, on your phone, your computer, or even just on a sticky note. These help me to remember what exactly my goals are, and can even include how I plan to accomplish them. Finding time to work on my goals for the most part is often found when the girls go down for their naps, or in the evenings after the girls have gone down for bed. A lot of this timing allows me to work without having to take time and attention away from my family.
How Do I Stay Accountable in Following My Dreams?
Lastly, talking to someone whom I can trust comes in handy when I’m trying to achieve my dreams. This trusted person is my sweet husband. Talking to him about what I want to do and achieve in my life has helped me to find confidence in my ability to do hard things, and things I set my mind and heart to. Ethan checks in on me about what I have done to work on accomplishing my dreams, and he also often helps me find ways I can improve my goals and the steps it would take for me to be successful.
Balancing love, littles, and big dreams is possible through trial and error. It all comes down to how much effort you are willing to put into making sure you feel you are making the most of each area of your life. For me, balancing my marriage, time with our children, and my dreams helps me to prioritize the important things in my life. What things in your life do you feel you need to balance out? How do you find balance with all the priorities in your life?
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
McKenna Sanders
The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog
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