To say that motherhood has changed me in the best possible ways seems like an understatement to what it has done to shape me into the mother, wife, and individual I am now and continue to strive to be.
Why is Motherhood so Important?
The moment a woman’s body begins to grow a baby is the moment her body starts to truly mature and become the woman she was designed to be. Now, there are circumstances where some women cannot physically have a baby of their own, and this breaks my heart, but that doesn’t keep their body from becoming any less mature and the way she was designed to be. When a woman assumes the role of mother in any situation, her mind and heart work miracles to transform her from the inside out into the mature mother figure the baby or child needs to thrive, grow, learn, and develop. Whether or not the child is biologically hers or not, the life of a mother can be created regardless.
What Has Been One of My Greatest Goals in Life?
Becoming a mother has always been my biggest goal in life (outside of getting married to a strapping, handsome prince, of course, which I did get to do in a beautiful white palace called the Temple.) When I was younger, I used to play house a LOT. So much so that my siblings and I perfected it, and my friends and I played it in some form or another every time we had a play date. If you are reading this, my friends from elementary or middle school, you can attest to this… My siblings and I would play where I was the mom, and they were my kids. My friends and I used to play where we were young moms who had babies, and we all were friends, and our babies (baby dolls) stayed babies forever. If you ever played something similar as a kid, I’d love to hear about it! Reminiscing on those fun times is such a good memory to hold near and dear to our hearts.
Needless to say, I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was very, very young. Motherhood has taught me that time goes by way too fast as a parent. My parents and every adult I knew growing up always told me how fast time was going. I did not believe them until I became a Mom. Seeing myself grow up was fast now that I look back at it, but in the moment felt like an eternity. I wanted to grow up so I could make my own decisions, have a husband who loved me, supported me, and aspired to create dreams and goals together, I wanted to have and raise children of my own, have my own home to decorate and paint, etc. The list goes on, but I thought it was so far out of reach, and now it’s all here, just like that. In the blink of an eye, some would say. They weren’t wrong! Being able to see someone else grow up is a whole other story. My oldest is turning three years old this year!? How?! She was just born! Then I look at my youngest, and holy moly, she’s already sitting up, eating food, and wanting to crawl and move so badly. Time truly is something to be cherished, as it goes by too quickly, and before you even get the chance to notice.
What Memories Do I Enjoy Creating With My Family?
The time I have right now with my girls will be part of those memories and moments I look back on that melt my heart. I will miss these days, but I look forward to the joys, laughter, smiles, and exciting memories that we will get to create shortly together as a family!
Motherhood continues to change the way I view others and the world around me. Being able to experience it as a mom and through the eyes of a toddler is beautiful. Toddlers don’t see the dark and scary things that are happening, instead, they see the pretty butterfly that just landed on the flower in the front yard. They hear the sound of a faint plane flying overhead, and they laugh when a ball gets thrown into a hoop. Simple things in life please them, such as getting a rock from the ballpark, or seeing a family member the day after they just saw them. Why can’t we all see the world as bright and loving as they do? I can learn from this, and I do learn from it every day. They remind me to slow down, take a breath, and enjoy the simple, gratifying miracles that surround us all. I want to be more optimistic like my 2.5-year-old., I would love to smile and laugh every time I step outside and say, “Look!” as I point to every single thing of interest at the time with as much enthusiasm as she does. Seeing the world through her eyes brightens my day and my life in general. It gives me a deeper sense of purpose knowing that there is so much more to be thankful for than I notice.
If I’m being completely honest, I was a little worried about how I was going to be as a mom. Like I have mentioned before, I didn’t consider myself to be a very kind or nice person. I wasn’t caring about other people until my Sophomore year of High School (If I ever hurt you, or made you feel anything other than seen, loved, appreciated, heard, and respected, I am so sorry, I am not that girl anymore!). I want to be someone, and hope that I am someone that anyone can turn to if they need a friend, someone to trust, rely on, talk to, someone to listen to, vent to, go get ice cream with, etc. I want to always choose kindness over being mean, and to choose love over hate, always, no matter what. I wasn’t always the nicest to my siblings growing up either, and they definitely can attest to that. I made mistakes, I still make mistakes daily, but I also continue to change daily, and become the best wife, mom, and person I can be. I am human, so I’m bound to be imperfect in this life, and I’m okay with that, because I know someday I will have the chance to be perfect.
How Do I Want to Raise My Children?
I feared I was going to revert to my mean self once I had children, even though I knew I would love them, teach them, and raise them as best as I could. Part of me still worried I wouldn’t treat them as good as they deserved. Luckily for me, with the help of God, my husband, all my family, my husband’s family, and some friends, I had amazing examples to look up to. I knew that I would take amazing care of my babies, because I had been taken care of. I have surrounded myself with people who share my values, my morals, and the same love I have for God and others. Knowing this gave me faith and hope that I would be a great mom! I still have my moments, but being able to understand what I am feeling and what caused that feeling before lashing out has made all the difference. Some days are harder than others, that’s for sure.
I’ve had times that I’ve snapped back too quickly, and then instantly regretted it, and apologized multiple times. But the number of times that’s happened doesn’t even come close to the growth I have had from taking a step back, re-assessing my situation, my attitude, my feelings, and what I am about to say. I teach it to my toddler. I learned it from Daniel Tiger, so if you know that show, you know what I’m talking about… He sings a simple song that I sing every day in our house to remind myself and my toddler that we can regulate our emotions and feelings before giving a response. “When you feel so mad that you wanna roar, take a deep breath *breath in*, and count to four…1…2…3…4… *breath out*”
What Can I learn From My Children?
Though this is a simple thing to do before reacting, it has helped me to know that I am capable of learning this, just as much as my toddler is. I, too, am still learning, and I, too, want to be understood, heard, and seen. Motherhood is challenging, but it is incredibly rewarding as well. The rewards completely outscale the challenging aspects of it. I love getting to look at my two girls standing by my husband, we turn to each other, smiling as our girls play together on the floor, and we say, “We did that. We made that. We did well.” Though it may not be phrased that exact way all of the time. Some variation of that phrase is said often as we admire the girls we created, and how much they have grown and continue to grow each day. What joys they are in this world, and especially in our lives. They relight our lives when it feels our lights have dimmed and faded.
They keep us on our toes, always creating new opportunities to test the boundaries and learn new life skills. We have done so much out of our comfort zones since having kids, and it’s helped us become the parents we are today. What a gift it is to be a mother. I hope you all get the opportunity to become a mother, a father, a parent, a guardian, etc. It’s the greatest blessing you’ll ever get. Cherish it, learn from it, and choose to accept it and all its trials, challenges, and opportunities. It is all worth it in the end.
“There is no way to be the perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.”
Photo Credits go to dashphotographyrexburg
McKenna Sanders
The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog
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