When I think of the word blueprint, I think of one specific memory in my childhood when my parents were looking at building the house of their dreams. We spent a lot of time with those individuals who were professional blueprint makers, at least that’s how I understood them. To be completely honest, I was super excited to have a house that my parents had designed for our family, but I did not like the whole process of planning. After seeing the blueprints and all the little details of how big each room would be, and the spacing between wall to wall and door to door, I was overwhelmed. 

I didn’t like the thought of needing to know every single inch and foot required for every corner and hallway. I still think about blueprints and worry that I won’t know enough to be able to build or create something beautiful, heck, or even know enough to build something that would be stable. Though I may not be able to fully be comfortable with building or reading blueprints (thank goodness I’m not an architect), I can understand and create blueprints in my life that help me to become better. 

Where Do I Start In Redesigning my Life into my Dream Life?

That leads me to my Step-by-Step Guide to Redesigning My Life. To redesign something means to design something again or differently. My life, and I’m sure your life, has been like that at times, where you’ve done something, and it simply didn’t work, so you evaluated, and tried again in a different way. I believe that the one true way a person can succeed is to fail, and know that failure itself is God’s way of telling you to try again a bit differently, or in other words, to redesign your thoughts, actions, words, or blueprint. To redesign your blueprint does not mean you are any less capable of accomplishing the tasks at hand; it means you are logical, realistic, and willing to change. 

What’s the First Step To Take in Building my Dream Life?

The first step to redesigning my life was to make a decision that has been holding me back from my true potential as a wife, mother, and dreamer. 

My life is far from perfect, and it’s taken me a long time to believe that it’s okay to not be the best at everything. Lately, I have made some tough decisions, and so far, I have seen how big of a blessing it has been to make those decisions. For example, I decided it would be best to withdraw from school for the time being. Now, don’t assume that I withdrew because I don’t want to do it. I love school, and I love learning, but right now, my family is my priority. 

I redesigned my attitude towards leaving school from calling myself a dropout to calling myself a wife and mom, desiring to give and be the best she can because family is the most important thing in life. Realistically, I knew that even if I were to continue/finish my schooling right now, I wouldn’t be able to physically do the job I wanted while wanting to be present for my husband and children.

The job I wanted would require me to be out of my home for most of the day, I would be missing the younger years of my sweet girls, I would be missing their milestones, and being able to teach them basic skills and lessons. I wouldn’t be able to go see my husband at his work, or be able to take him lunch, chapstick, or a change of clothes if needed. I am prioritizing my family so that I can do those things and be able to improve myself as an individual as well. Leaving school for this time was a very hard decision for me, but I plan on going back when I know I can give it the time it deserves. 

How Can I Let Go of the Opinions of Others?

The second step to redesigning my life was to let go of the opinions of others.

Now, this one went hand in hand with my first step, because I was heavily concerned with the thoughts and opinions of others and what they would think of me for leaving school. Especially family members. I am a person who takes things to heart. Some would say I’m extremely emotional, while others say I have a tender heart. They would all be correct. What a blessing it is to be able to show my emotions and be able to feel so easily, though sometimes it’s hard to control, and it’s something I’m still working on. My family is important to me, which includes my immediate and extended family. I don’t speak to many of my extended family members as often as I’d like, but their opinions of me still matter to me. 

That being said, their opinion of me should not affect my decision to do what is best for myself and my family. An opinion is not a decision, it’s simply a view or judgment formed about someone or something, which most of the time is not based on fact or knowledge. Due to my family members and I not communicating as often as we should, they don’t have the full understanding to create correct opinions or judgment of me and my choices, as they do not have all the facts and knowledge of my current life experiences and opportunities. This is hard to learn, and it’s even harder to remember it and not let it affect me. 

After talking with Ethan, he and I have conclusively decided that people are going to believe and think what they want, regardless of what choices and decisions we make. Why should we go about life constantly fearing what other people are going to say or think? 

There will always be someone who doesn’t agree with me, someone who doesn’t like me, or someone who doesn’t want to see me succeed, but there will also always be someone who does agree with me, someone who does like me, and someone who does want to see me succeed. Why should I worry so much about the few opinions that won’t cheer me on? I choose to focus on my decision, and happily accept the opinions that do support me.

How Can Faith Help Me In My Life’s Journey?

The third step to redesigning my life is to trust or have faith in everything good in my life.

This may seem similar to the opinions, but it’s a bit different. I needed to have more trust and faith in God, in myself, in my husband, in my little girls, and my future. I struggle with self-confidence pretty much every single day. Trusting and believing others comes easier than believing in myself. I’m sure you relate to me to some degree in that. It’s hard for me to see my potential, which I guess is where trusting God and his perspective comes in clutch. Trusting that God has a greater understanding and greater view than I is what’s been keeping me going for as long as I can remember. I just need to remember that! 

I need to trust and have more faith in my husband. He is so, so good to me, and I need to remember that he loves me for me. He loves that I am “imperfectly perfect”. He always tells me how beautiful I am, even when I don’t feel it. He sees me at my worst and still chooses to love me and see me as myself. When I wake up with incredible bedhead, when I have a piece of food stuck in my teeth, and even when I get snappy and upset. Ethan always sees me as his wife, as his best friend, and as the woman he married and wants to grow with forever. If he can see me through all that and still find me stunning, beautiful, and attractive, then don’t you think I should also see and feel that about myself? 

Sadly, no… I don’t always feel that way about myself, but I am working on it! I think my confidence has grown, especially since marrying Ethan and having our girls. Being a mom has shaped me into a woman I never knew existed. I have surprised myself with the naturality of teaching and raising tiny humans. It’s come so simply to me, I don’t know if that’s because I grew up with a bunch of younger siblings, foster siblings, and little cousins that I gained that maternal character as a young girl, or if I simply was born with it. 

It’s probably a bit of both to be completely honest. I want E and U to grow up with self-respect, self-confidence, and faith in themselves. How can I teach them that if I don’t have that for myself? To put it straight, I can’t. That would be hypocritical of me to expect it of them and not for myself.

My future is just as good as I want it to be. I need to start now, probably yesterday, but now will have to do. Having faith in my future helps me to focus on maintaining positivity and optimism in my day-to-day life. What do all these people and my future have in common? They are all good things in my life! They are all blessings to have, to know, and to grow alongside. I must continue to have faith to keep going so that I can continue following my blueprint to redesign my life. 

How Can I Continue to Create Change in My Life?

Though these may not be the steps of your blueprint, these are the steps I have continuously used to redesign my life. Failing is part of life. Why dwell on that when you can return to your blueprint, take a step back, evaluate, and redesign your course of action and try again. Keep trying until you accomplish all the good things you’ve desired. You can do it! You are not alone. I am still working on my blueprint, and still adding more steps to work on and do as I write. 

What steps do you have in your blueprint for redesigning your life? I would love to learn the steps you have in helping you move through life and become a better person.

“You can’t know where you are going until you know where you are.”

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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