The Mom, Wife, Dream Life

Love isn’t something that everyone experiences in life, and knowing that breaks my heart. To hear about those stories of neglect, abuse, heartache, and pain makes me wish I had the power and enough money to take care of everyone. But… that is not my job, it never was, and never will be. My job is to love, choose love, and follow God in all the ways He wants and needs me to.

I have many roles where choosing love is easy; there are very few roles in my life where choosing love is difficult. Almost all of the roles where choosing to love is hard include situations or people that don’t love me, or are actively doing things to hurt me or others. As I said, though, there aren’t many situations in my life where I can’t find reasons to love and choose love.

What is So Important When Choosing to Love?

When choosing love, there is a decision to make. Love comes in many shapes and forms, and it is unique to each person giving and each person receiving. As I mentioned in a previous blog about the different love languages, which you can read here, each individual has their own preferences for how they give and receive love from others. More often than not, it changes every day. Sure, we all have a specific way we like to love others, but sometimes it needs to change based on each day and circumstance. For example, if you aren’t physically able to love your loved ones when you live far apart, you may have to do something a little different, such as mailing a letter, having a phone call with them, sending a meaningful text, etc.

How Do I Show Love Unto Others?

I pray and hope that my children, any of the kiddos that I have babysat, watched, tended to, and any kid that I have had the privilege of interacting with, know and grow up knowing that I loved (and still love)  them. I hope they never have to fear that I wouldn’t, or that it would be taken away if they did something bad or wrong. I never want them to feel like love is a prize to be earned, but that it’s given, automatically, without judgment, without harsh criticism, and without the expectation of more. I hope that all the children I have ever met or cherished in my life feel that I was a loving person they knew/know. I hope they felt/feel safe with me, in my home, with my family, etc. Children shouldn’t have to wonder if they will be treated respectfully, taken care of, or safe. 

They deserve to feel safe, secure, protected, and loved without the worry that someone or something will hurt them. Yes, I know and fully understand that some things are out of our control. Accidents happen, children crash their bikes or scrape their knees, other kids fail to share, and the occasional age-appropriate tantrums occur. 

How Can I Show My Love to My Children? 

Doing our best is all that is needed during these times. It’s hard to handle every situation that’s thrown at you without proper instruction on how to cope or deal. Take things as they come, with patience, kindness, and most importantly, love in your heart and in your mind. When a child is having a tantrum, to whom do they look? What are they doing with their bodies while they are screaming and crying? Do they look to you for reassurance? Out of fear? For comfort and attention? Are they kicking, hitting, or biting? Do they throw things, or do they cry onto the couch, into a pillow, or while hugging their comfort blanket/stuffed animal? Regardless of what is happening, our best response is to love. Love them as they are, love who they were before the tantrum, love who they are during the tantrum, and who they will be after the tantrum. 

Why is it so important to Show Love to Our Children

They aren’t perfect, neither are you. Most likely, their little bodies are overstimulated, and they don’t know how to handle all those emotions at once… Perhaps you, too, know the feeling? I know I do… I would hope that as adults we understand a bit more as to why those feelings are happening to us, to those littles, they don’t have the understanding yet, which is why they need our love, grace, and patience the most.

As one of the most common hymns in our faith goes,

“As I have loved you,

Love one another.

This new commandment:

Love one another.

By this shall men know

Ye are my disciples,

If ye have love

One to another.”

Who is the Ultimate Example of Love?

The very person we should be turning to for the example to love has given us pages upon pages, and songs upon songs, of how to love. How to love God and Jesus Christ. How to love ourselves, and how to love our neighbor. With loving others comes the responsibility to love ourselves, too. We cannot expect to love anyone without loving ourselves first. I will be honest with you about this… I struggle with loving myself sometimes. Do I love myself? Yes, absolutely. Do I love everything about myself? No, definitely not.

Why Do I Struggle With Loving Myself, and How Can I Change It? 

I struggle with not loving the saggy skin from having babies. Would I change it? Never, I love my babies, and would do it all over again if it meant they could be mine and with me forever. I don’t always love that my skin isn’t smooth and clean from acne and blemishes. Do I know that it’s normal? Yes, I do, and in fact, most people never have perfect faces or skin, unless they are surgically fixed… but even then, they have imperfections. I am an imperfect individual, but you know what? I have so many things that I love about myself, too.

I love that my body has been capable of growing and giving birth to two amazing little girls. I love that I am kind, and I tend to put others first. I love that I have come so far in being patient with myself and with others. I love that I have dimples, that I have hazel eyes, and blonde hair. I love how musically talented I am, although nobody really knows the extent of it because I get too nervous to share.

What is Love?

Love is a choice. Love is easy. Love is hard. Love is simple, yet complicated. Love isn’t something that always comes naturally to people; sometimes it takes learning, teaching, and a lot of experiences and situations that push that opportunity. I am choosing love this year, and for the rest of my life! What are you choosing to love in your life? I hope it can be a choice you are happy to make. Let’s do it together. Love more, love good, and love even when it’s hard to.

“True love is not just a feeling. It is a decision to act in ways that demonstrate our love for others. Especially for those who need our care and attention.”

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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