The Mom, Wife, Dream Life

Marriage is like a constant pop quiz or test. We are always striving to be better and learn, so in another sense. Marriage is like being in a continual study group, where you and your study partner (your spouse) are learning, growing, and seeking to gain further knowledge about one another and your lives together.

What Can I Do To Strengthen My Marriage With My Spouse?

In all aspects of our lives, we should turn to God for guidance, support, reassurance, and strength and healing. We all desire to feel strong in our lives. We all have situations and trials in our lives that require healing of some sort to move on or move forward. We cannot do that on our own in most instances as human beings. Most, if not all, of the time, we need help from other humans and God.

Being married is not always the happy fairytale portrayed on the internet or in Hollywood stories. It’s not some fantasy story that shows up in your favorite novel. It’s real, it’s raw, and it’s personally different for each couple. Though it’s not perfect. Marriage is beautiful, it’s fun, rewarding, loving, and adventurous.

Many people don’t take the opportunity to work through their problems, struggles, and miscommunications, and it shows. Children are being affected because of their parents and the relationships their parents have with one another. Marriage affects everyone in the household. It can even affect each person’s families outside of their marriage, and sometimes friends, and the choices they make. We are all connected, whether you believe that or not. What one person does will affect someone, good or bad.

What Should I Do When My Marriage Feels Overwhelming? 

When marriage gets hard, who is the first person those couples typically turn to? Is it a friend, a colleague, a parent, a sibling, a boss, a church leader, a therapist, a teacher, or the grocery clerk? This again would be different for each person. For Ethan and me, when our marriage gets tough, we typically turn to one another. You may be asking yourself why, and I will share that with you, because I believe everyone deserves that kind of bond, relationship, and connection with their spouse. It’s not automatic, but learned, taught, and practiced. Every. Single. Day.

I turn to Ethan when our marriage is tricky, difficult, or hard. I turn to him because he is my best friend, he’s the one I need to fix things with and for. My marriage isn’t complete without him, and my covenants and promises to God are not fully fulfilled unless my covenants and promises to my husband are complete, honest, and strong. But sometimes those things fall short. Marriage itself is perfect, but the people who are a part of that marriage are not. I am far from it, and it shows. I am not ashamed to admit that, because I have room to grow, room to learn, teach, seek happiness, and to strengthen those connections. I am not perfect in my marriage, because I let my emotions take over more than I should, I don’t speak with a gentle tongue all the time, I often fail at keeping our home clean and tidy, and I fall short with my efforts as a wife sometimes.

This only gives me hope. Hope that I have the space to improve, the opportunity to expand my actions into doing something good and worthwhile. I have the desire to be taught by God, by Ethan, and from my life experiences. I turn to Ethan, but in doing so, I turn to God. God has my best interests at heart. He knows my thoughts, my feelings. He is how I strengthen and heal to become the best wife I can be for my husband. God is there, even when I can’t speak, when my words fail, but my heart yearns for support. As I turn to God, I turn to my husband, and when I turn to my husband, I turn to God by keeping his commandments, and promising to put Him and my family first.

Is Marriage Fun?

Marriage is not going to always be the brightest experience, but it can become a brighter experience in our lives. For example, someone may say that their wedding day was the brightest experience in their lives, but their marriage is what becomes brighter as it’s built each day into a beautiful partnership between husband and wife. For me, my marriage is brighter than my wedding day, because I get to spend each day with the love of my life. Sure, my wedding day was incredible, stunning, fun, energetic, and memorable, but it’s what I got from that day that I get to keep and remember each day. I got to become a wife, the eternal companion to my spouse, and the endless possibilities and opportunities for our future together as we devote our time and our lives to serving and loving God and one another.

When marriage feels hard, who do you turn to? Are you turning to someone who will love you, support you, and care about your feelings? If not, I hope you know that there are people out there who do love you, who support you, care about you, and want you to feel happy. One person who I know will always do that for you is Heavenly Father. He will always and forever be there for you, no matter what time of day you call to him in prayer, no matter how hard you cry and try to speak, he is listening and understands you completely, perfectly. Turn to him, and he will heal you, heal your heart, your mind, and give you strength to do it. There are also people here in this world who will help guide you to becoming the person you want and crave to be.

How Can I Be Sure I am Not Taking My Marriage for Granted?

Marriage is not something that people should take for granted. It is special, difficult, and sometimes stressful, but it is more rewarding than you could imagine when both partners are equally working towards becoming better individuals for themselves and each other. When both partners are striving to love, cherish, and grow with one another, not just for each other, then their posterity also grows. Their children begin to bloom and strive more, which often results in stronger relationships between everyone in the family. 

If you think that marriage is not worth fighting for. You are wrong. Marriage again is perfect. It was created by a loving and perfect God. He who admires his sons and daughters, and encourages all of us to learn as much as humanly possible upon this earth. We are made for more, and I truly believe that comes with the blessing of marriage. If you are not yet married, I encourage you to find a companion in whom you can turn to when your relationship gets rough, tough, and hard. It’s not easy, but I promise it’s worth it.

“Marriage is not a fairytale. It’s a love story that unfolds over time.”

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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