The Mom, Wife, Dream Life

Many ask themselves what habit they would like to start, or what habit they would like to stop, but do we ever ask ourselves if we have any habits that keep us connected with others? From my personal experience, is no, not until this blog, at least for me. I’ve never thought about them as habits, but I have thought about them as just things. Things we do in our lives to keep the people we love close and grow those bonds we have with them.

Why is any specific thing any different from a habit? I don’t believe it is really. They could be considered interchangeable if a thing that you do is consistent and constant in your life. For example, many people fill up their water bottles in the morning before starting their day. Is that something you do, or is it a habit? Maybe you decide to do your laundry every Monday. Is that a habit, or is that simply something you chose to do? Is there a difference? I don’t know if there is, to be completely honest with you! What exactly is a habit? A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, one that is hard to give up.

What is a Habit that we have in Our Marriage?

Something that Ethan and I consider a habit, which we have shared throughout our marriage, probably wouldn’t be considered a habit by most people. Let me convince you otherwise. It is a habit now, should be a habit in your life, and will forever be a habit in ours. Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter with someone you love fills your soul with rejuvenation. Our marriage has been beautiful, but those hard times when life has brought chaos, pain, hurt, and overall feelings of negativity have been healed, even just a little bit, with laughter.

Here are some short-term and long-term benefits from laughter (from the Mayo Clinic):

Short-Term:

• Stimulate the organs: it enhances the oxygen intake of your body, stimulates the heart, lungs, and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released in your brain.
• Activates and releases the stress response: increases or decreases your stress response, increases or decreases heart rate and blood pressure, making you feel calm or relaxed.
• Soothes tension: stimulates circulation, aids muscle relaxation, ultimately reducing stress.

Long-Term:

• Improve immune system: releases neuropeptides (they fight stress and some illnesses in the body)
• Relieve pain: Causes the body to produce natural painkillers
• Increase in personal satisfaction: Can be easier to cope with difficult situations, helps you connect with others
• Improve your mood: It can help lessen stress, depression, and anxiety, causing happiness. It can also improve your self-esteem.
• Improve your sense of humor: Humor is learned, and laughter can help you learn what’s funny.

We have had our fair share of life trials and stressors, but something that always brings us closer together is laughing together. Laughing together allows us to be vulnerable, allows us to open up, to let go of those things, and to embrace the moment with one another. We feel like newlyweds every time we laugh together, because it reminds us just how precious our relationship is. As newlyweds, we laughed a lot together, and being able to do that again with Ethan four years later still brings that feeling of fun, light-heartedness, and joy to our lives.

Why is Laughing So Important in Marriage?

Not only is laughing together a wonderful moment and memory we create, but seeing your significant other fully laugh is an experience I hope everyone can have. I love seeing Ethan so happy that he laughs until he’s crying (happy tears, of course). I love getting to see him smile, hearing his laugh, and both of us rolling on the ground trying to catch our breath from how hard we are laughing. The emotional wellness that laughter provides to our relationship is unbeatable. Laughing through the years with him has been one of the most highlighted moments of our marriage thus far, and I’m so glad we now get to laugh with our children and be able to share the joy that laughter can bring with them.

I’m sure all parents can relate to laughing with their kids makes you feel so proud to call them yours. Every time that little squeal of laughter escapes one of their mouths is a squeal of joy that I, too, feel from deep within my soul. Laughter should be a daily occurrence in everyone’s lives. Not to mention that people who laugh together, specifically parents who laugh with their children, have better and stronger relationships. Which, if you think about it, makes a lot of sense! Those who laugh are happy (for the most part), and those who openly laugh with their families/friends tend to have stronger relationships and bonds with those individuals than those who don’t laugh or keep their full laugh hidden.

What Does My Laugh Sound Like?

My full laugh is not the cutest, I can promise you that. I once had a young woman leader tell me that my laugh was so unique because it sounded like a dying donkey, but she told me she loved it anyway! I was so close with her that it was seen as a joke, and it was funny, and we laughed about it! I snort, I make a weird guttural sound from my throat, and most of the time, if I am laughing too hard, I just hold my breath and cry while laughing. My voice also tends to go up a couple of octaves when I’m laughing my hardest, but it’s one of the best feelings ever. If you hear the donkey, know that you are considered very lucky. That most likely means I trust you a lot, I consider our relationship close, and I value you. If I don’t laugh fully like that around you, don’t take it personally; most likely, something wasn’t that funny, or I didn’t feel like laughing. Laughing freely with my loved ones and people I am comfortable around brings me so much happiness, and often makes other people laugh harder.

Is Laughter Contagious?

Laughter is contagious; when someone is laughing, other people tend to start laughing as well. Not always, but most of the time, that is the case. Sometimes people laugh at very inappropriate places, situations, and impolitely. This happens to the best of us, and can be avoided if we remember the situation we are in, calm our minds, and calm our bodies. If that doesn’t work, excuse yourself and get your laughter under control before returning. It happens! It’s not always easy to hold in a laugh after you’ve had a laugh attack or just feel extra goofy that day.

Laughing has become a habit for Ethan and me, and I’m so grateful that we get to laugh together, no matter what chaos is happening in our lives; somehow, we find a way to continue the habit. Habits are not just there overnight; they take work, effort, and practice consistently. Our laughs together started when we met, and only progressed since then. I’m thankful to share this habit with the love of my life, my companion for all eternity, and my best friend. What habit do you have that keeps your love alive? What habit do you wish you had? I’d love to hear your thoughts and what you think habits can do to benefit the relationships we have with others.

“Laughing is good exercise…It’s like jogging on the inside.”

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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