The Mom, Wife, Dream Life

Ethan and I have had our fair share of health challenges, whether physically or mentally. It’s part of life and probably won’t be the last one we face together. I’ll be going over a few challenges we have faced and what we’ve done to help each other and support them during that time. Healing as an individual is often long, stressful, and full of challenges, but having someone there by your side every step of the way to help you through that, support you, love you, care for you, and heal with you brings a different perspective.

Who Has Been My Strongest Support System?

Ethan has been my biggest support system since we have been together, and even when we were just friends before dating, he was my biggest cheerleader. I struggled mentally with self-doubt, self-deprivation, trust issues, fear of being left, the fear of not being enough, etc. I’m sure some of you, if not all of you, can relate to at least one of those thoughts/feelings. I still have them from time to time, but thankfully, Ethan has been there every time to remind me that I am beautiful, I’m worth it, I’m enough, and though I am not perfect, I am perfect for him. He brings out the best in me, and I bring out the best in him. I have a very emotional personality, I guess is the best way to put it. I love making other people feel good about themselves, and it makes me sad when people don’t see how amazing they are. I unfortunately don’t always feel and see this way about myself, and it’s hard. I am not a perfect person; I struggle every single day with body image and a lack of self-confidence. I’m working on it day by day. I don’t know if I will ever be amazing at it in this life, but I hope someday I can at least be good at it. Ethan is my best friend. He knows my thoughts, my feelings, my struggles, and he loves me anyway. He wants to see me grow, see me succeed, learn, and improve. He boosts me up with his compliments, his reassurance, and his hugs. I am getting better mentally every day because he helps me heal that part of me that feels broken.

What is One Major Health Challenge We Have Faced?

Four months ago, on April 29th, 2025, Ethan had surgery on his shoulder. We were out playing a couple of weeks before when he decided he wanted to go slacklining. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s basically a huge ratchet strap that you tie up to two trees, and you balance on it, and if you are really good, you can do tricks. Ethan used to do it all the time in High School, and he got really good at it. He hadn’t done it really since then, and thought it would be a great time to re-learn that hobby of his. We went to a park with trees. The girls and I played at the park while he set up his slack line and began. I glanced over at him every so often to make sure he was okay and still doing good. One of the times I looked over to him, he was on the ground holding his arm. He asked me to come over, so I began grabbing the girls and walking over. He stood up and said he was okay. Looking back, we should have stopped there, but we didn’t think much of it, and Ethan got back up on the line. He was doing more of his tricks when he fell again and popped his shoulder out of place a second time. That was the end of that for the day. He popped it back in place (Yes, I know you aren’t supposed to do that on your own, but he did pop it back in place correctly, he knew what he was doing, and we kept an eye on it.)

About a day or two later, he was still in so much pain, and nothing was helping. We decided it was best to get it looked at, just to be safe. This ultimately led us to Ethan having to get surgery. They didn’t think it was as bad as it actually ended up being. Ethan had to get what’s called a Bankart repair. Well, while they were in surgery, the doctor looked at Ethan’s bicep tendon to see what damage was done to that… it was completely torn off… thankfully, with the doctor being mindful and observant, they were able to reattach and repair his bicep tendon as well. It’s been a rough healing process for Ethan as he has had to relearn basic functions with his shoulder, as it’s essentially brand new. He’s had to be patient with himself and God’s timing, and it has been anything but easy. We knew it would take time, but we didn’t realize how much. I have been incredibly blessed to be able to help him with so much, and watching Ethan grow from not asking for help to asking for help and really taking things one day at a time with full faith in God has been beautiful to witness. I am so glad I was able to be there for him when he needed me, and I’m so proud of him and how hard he has worked to stay positive, focus on the strength building and healing of his body during this time.

How has Ethan helped me Throughout Our Marriage?

Ethan has been by my side, even when things have gotten extremely scary and life-threatening. No matter what, he was there, ready to take on what came next, and was there to keep me sane, and focusing on the grace and goodness of God. My two pregnancies were great, the girls grew as they were supposed to, and things went smoothly for the most part. Laboring was rough with E (our oldest). I labored for 18 hours, and she wouldn’t drop down. I had to be on oxygen and constantly be changing positions just to get her to drop down into my pelvis. I didn’t dilate as fast as my doctor wanted to, and I was one hour away from having to have a C-section. There is nothing wrong with having a C-section. I am just terrified of having one, and I was extremely sad that there was going to be a high possibility of my having to have one for the safety of myself and our baby. I prayed so hard that within the hour, I would be fully dilated. I went from a 6cm to a 10cm in that short time, and thankfully, I was able to have a vaginal birth like I planned. Right after giving birth, I began clotting very heavily; my doctor had already left, but my nurse was concerned. She phoned my doctor, and he immediately came in to solve the problem. I basically had to be scraped out (that sounds awful when I put it that way, and I’m so sorry, but that’s the truth). He had to reach in and scrape out the remaining clots to make sure there wasn’t anything left from the placenta. It was horrible to experience, but what a blessing it was to have my doctor on call and there within 3 minutes to make sure I was okay. After that, I healed up fine… 

Fast forward to our second baby. Pregnancy went great, laboring sucked mostly because I was only dilated to a 1.5 for 4 days. I labored off and on for a few days, and at 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant, I went in to my routine checkup, and was at a 7cm dilated with a bulging bag of water (my water could have broken at any moment). We went straight to the hospital, and got everything all situated and such. We were in the hospital for about 7 hours before baby U arrived. I had told my nurses and my doctors about my previous clotting issues right after giving birth, so they were aware and observant. I only had a couple of clots, and it wasn’t enough to be concerning. So, I was free to go home. We went home the next day, and I was doing good… until I wasn’t. I started clotting super badly about 3 weeks postpartum. I was so worried I couldn’t keep my emotions in. It was on a Sunday morning, so my doctor’s office wasn’t open, so we called the ER and they told us to come in to make sure everything was good. I knew something was off, and I could feel it in my heart. We had no idea what was going to happen; our nerves were skyrocketing. We got admitted to the ER, and nobody was taking me seriously when I said I was clotting badly. They didn’t check until I told them I had to use the bathroom. A very kind nurse helped me to the bathroom, where I took down my pants, and started crying as clot after clot came down. They were huge, bigger than golf balls, so the nurse looked shocked. She immediately ran to call the doctor who was on call.

Finally, someone was listening and could help. She walked me back to the room, and I don’t know how much time elapsed, because it’s all kind of fuzzy, but I started to get really dizzy, and felt the most terrible yucky feeling ever. I was about to pass out. Ethan called for the nurse, they quickly tipped the bed up on my feet, and my head angled towards the ground. I started to regain full consciousness. I don’t remember a whole lot of that, other than panicking internally with not knowing what was going on with my body, and not being able to talk much to Ethan and tell him how much I loved him. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I was worried that he wouldn’t know how much he meant to me if something critical did happen. After feeling much better, but still bleeding and clotting horrifically, my dad arrived to help Ethan give me a Priesthood blessing. That was the most calm I felt since getting to the hospital. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I felt calmer and at peace that God was in control, and that somehow I would be okay. My dad works in the medical field, so he is friends with a lot of the doctors. One of his good friends just so happened to be the OBGYN doctor on call, and came in as fast as he could. I was to have an emergency Dilation and Curettage surgery (aka a D&C). Basically, it’s where they dilate the cervix and scrape the insides of the uterus to get tissue out of it. In my case, it was due to excess placental fragments that were left behind from when I had given birth.

The doctor and a nurse quickly rolled my bed to the operating room. I quickly said goodbye to my husband, my 3-week-old baby, and my parents (my toddler was already with her other grandparents at the time, so she wouldn’t have to be in the hospital that long). I remember them getting me into the OR and the coldness of the room. They helped me onto the table, and they put a mask of oxygenmask on me. The next thing I knew, I was waking up. I woke up, and the pain was gone. Every little twinge, pain, awful feeling I had going into that OR was immediately gone. The nurse told me I would feel some pain and cramping, but I didn’t. I never did, and I truly believe that was from God. I was able to see my sweet husband again, my baby, and my toddler. I had lost over 2 liters of blood, and thankfully only had to have iron transfusions. I was able to gain my strength back over the course of the next month or so.

What Did I Learn From This Experience?

Ethan was there for me in ways I didn’t know I needed. If I had been alone when those clots were happening at home, I don’t know what would have happened. I don’t like to think about it, because it makes me sad. If Ethan hadn’t been there to call for me, I would have been a blubbering mess on the phone, and who knows if I would have even gone in, if I hadn’t gone in… well… I probably wouldn’t be here writing this blog right now. Let’s just say that… My life is a blessing. I am incredibly grateful to be alive today, and I count every day another blessing. Ethan was my hero that day, and continues to be my hero each day as we face hard times and challenges that we face. Thankfully, we don’t have to do any of it alone. We have each other, we have God, we have our beautiful little girls, and the rest of our friends and family.

We all face challenges in this life, and many of them are health challenges. Either with ourselves or someone we love. We can be there for them just by praying for them, comforting them, telling them that you love them, calling the doctor for them if they need you to, driving them to an appointment, and making sure that they get the help they need when they need it.

What Challenges Has Ethan Faced in His Life?

About a month and a half ago, Ethan was really struggling with his thoughts and emotions. I won’t go into too much detail, but basically, he felt discouraged, sad, numb, and lost. I too felt sad and lost as I didn’t know how to help him. I knew that what he needed was extra help that I couldn’t offer. Ethan needed professional help to help him work through those thoughts and help him with gaining back happiness and motivation. I asked him if he wanted to get more help than the help I could offer, and he agreed. With our communication efforts with one another, and the deep love and care we have for one another, I was able to know what he needed, and he was willing to open up and share that with me. We got him the help he needed, and he was able to be part of a group therapy session, as well as a session with a licensed therapist. He has been doing phenomenally well in maintaining his mental health and coping with it in healthier ways. I am so proud of him and the work he has put in to getting the help he needed and taking it seriously. Our family has been so much happier and blessed because of his hard work, his happiness, and the joy he now has and creates. Sure, he still gets negative thoughts and feelings, yes, but he has healthy ways to cope and deal with them that make life so much easier and worth it.

I have seen the changes in our lives as we’ve been there for one another, through thick and thin, which is what we always say. Ethan has been there for me more times than I can count. I am thankful for him, for the love he has for me, and the care he provides to me when I need it. I, too, am thankful that I get to help him grow, help him succeed, and help him take the time to be patient and trust God. Our family has been impacted heavily by our challenges, but in the best possible ways, because we relied on God and one another for support as we healed as individuals and as a family.

“When you go on that journey of healing together, your bond grows stronger than it ever was before.”

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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