The Mom, Wife, Dream Life

How easy is it to move through life in a daze, simply, or much like in the movie Groundhog Day? Oftentimes I find myself doing the same routine every day and forget to change it up. Not only does it make me exhausted physically, it exhausts my mind, heart, and attitude. 

I’ll get through a whole week and realize that I didn’t do anything new, or that I missed the time I had each day. Life itself is hard, why make it boring too? I want life to be fun, entertaining, knowledge-building, spiritually progressive, and filled with love from my loved ones. I seek to know more about what I can be doing rather than what I should have done. Do I dwell on the past? Sure, sometimes it’s hard not to, but for the most part I really try to ask myself, and more importantly ask my better half what I can be doing to be better for him, our girls, and as an individual. Ethan sees me externally compared to how I see myself, so I feel that he often has better answers than the ones that I would personally have. 

What Am I Seeking in Life Right Now?

Sticking to the norm makes me feel useless, boring, and bland. I want adventure, excitement, and memories worth recreating! How often do we do things that we can recreate or do again in our lives? Probably not as often as we want to, and not as often as we should. Happiness is key in this life, so why not find as many opportunities as we can to help us find that happiness and joy? 

One thing that I find to fill my soul and lift my attitude, mood, and overall spirit is to serve others, compliment others, and be sporadic with giving or doing something for someone else. 

For example, I love to bake, am I any good? Many of my family and friends would say yes, but I don’t go out of my comfort zone for baking as much as I’d like to, so most of the time I stick to baking bread, cookies, brownies, cupcakes, and muffins. Regardless of how good or not I am at baking, I like to share what I’ve baked with others. I enjoy letting people taste the yummy treats I’ve made and seeing their faces light up with a warm dessert.

How Do I Show My Husband That I Love Him?

Every day, love letters are something I also find myself doing every day for Ethan. Every early morning, before he gets up for work, I get up in the middle of the night to nurse the baby. Before or after I do that I usually write a little note on the mirror with an expo marker. I write things that I am thankful for what he does for our family, and I write how proud I am of the man he is and continues striving to become. I always always end it with telling him that we love him so much, and to be safe. I sign my name or Nickname he has for me at the bottom to let him know it’s from me! Not that he would get that from anyone else, but that would be creepy if it appeared out of the blue in our house….Anyway, I do it to remind him I care, that I love him, and that I am proud of him. 

I don’t think we as adults get told enough how good we are doing, or that we have things we have accomplished or things that we are currently doing that deserve praise. I want my husband to know that he will always get praise, appreciation, and admiration from me. I will never cease to let him know that I am proud of him, because it’s the full truth. This helps me to live with intention as a wife. I am not phenomenal at being a wife yet, but I’d say I’m pretty alright. It all comes down to effort and the willingness to put in the time and energy to change and grow. 

What Sort Of Love Letters Do I Write For My Husband?

Love letters to your lovers don’t necessarily have to be literal letters or notes, they can easily be actions that you do to show the other person that you love and appreciate them. Have you ever taken the love language test? Now would be a great time to go do that to figure out what your love language is, and what you enjoy giving back in return. If you don’t want to take the test, here is a book that dives deep into the five love languages, and how you can help create a love with your partner or spouse that lasts. 

I heard this saying and it goes like this, “Marriage isn’t a one-time vow. It’s a daily decision to show up, grow, give, and forgive. Even on hard days, love anyway.” That couldn’t be more true to live with intention as a wife, but this goes both ways. If you want to live with intention as a husband this saying is for you as well. Both partners must be willing to grow, give, and forgive equally for the marriage or partnership to continue to flourish. It is not a one-time thing and not a one-person responsibility. Your relationship with your partner is just as much your responsibility as it is theirs! Do not take for granted the effort your partner is putting in, if they aren’t putting in as much as you’d like, or you feel you aren’t doing enough for them. Have that conversation, and remember to be respectful, loving, and kind to one another. Work together to find solutions and resolutions to help one another feel heard, seen, appreciated, and enough. 

Your everyday love letters could look something like this:

• Leave little notes here and there for your partner/spouse to find.
• Sending them a sweet text to let them know you are thinking of them and that you love them.
• Join your partner/spouse in one of their hobbies. (This shows that you are willing and maybe even interested in learning more about them and their likes)
• Make lunch for them to take to work.
• Take them lunch at work, or take them a treat just because you want to.
• Ask them about their day, what went well, what they learned, and what the best part was.
• Listen to them when they have something to say.
• Make them breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner.
• Tell them you love them, appreciate them, and are proud of them.
• Take a picture of them and tell them you want to capture this moment because you admire them and are proud to call them your other half.
• Go on a walk together and hold hands.
• Snuggle up for a movie and some popcorn and let them choose what movie to watch.

What Are Good Ways to Be Intentional with My Spouse?

As you can see, there are so many ways to tell and show your partner/spouse/lover that you love them, and that you are actively seeking to be intentional. I hope they will appreciate the efforts, and know that you are doing your best. Please know that your partner/spouse is also human, and is also trying their best. Be intentional with everything you say, do, act, think, feel, etc. Everyone deserves to feel loved, seen, appreciated, and feel proud of. Let’s start making that a part of our daily lives to give some kind of everyday love letter to our partner/spouse. This will help you live and become the intentional wife, husband, and partner you are designed to become. 

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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