If you haven’t noticed, June was all about parenting, motherhood, and raising children (specifically my children). As June approaches, I want to share things I have done personally to make myself a better mom. I have so many, but I will share only a few, as there would be books upon books of how I have changed and am continuously changing to become a better parent and mom in my children’s lives.
Let’s just jump right on in with the five things I have stopped doing that have made me a better parent.
- Putting myself first:
- I know what you are thinking, and I understand that putting myself first is important sometimes, but as a mom, I would put my husband and my children before myself any day, anytime, and anyplace. They come before me. Sure, I have to be taken care of to take care of them, but they are my all. If it comes down to me or them, I choose them every single time. I used to be so focused on myself. I guess that’s what growing up teaches you is to put others first (to an extent, of course). If you want to care about other people, you must care about yourself, sure, but also be willing to care about another person’s opinion and needs just as much as your own. Your opinion is valued, but so is any other person. Sometimes you need to be the bigger person and put theirs before your own for the greater good, whatever it may be.
- Valuing Opportunities for other people:
- This goes along with putting other people first, but is a little different. I would get so proud of myself when I accomplished something, or when I got that job I wanted, had a baby, got the cute dress that caught my eye, etc. This is good to be happy when things go well and how I want them to, but also being proud of other people when good fortune comes their way is important too. I would often find myself getting a little jealous when someone else completed their college degree before I did, or they got the solo instead, etc. If I’m being frank, I am not perfect at this, and still find myself getting jealous or even a little flustered when this happens. It’s wrong of me, I know, and I’m working hard here to be better, but for the most part, I would say I have improved, and that is something I am proud of.
- Not letting the harsh comments plague me:
- There will always be times when I struggle with receiving harsh or rude comments from others, and hearing them said about my husband or my girls, but I have matured a lot since becoming a mom, and I have learned to let things go as best as I can. It’s a pain in the butt sometimes choosing to not hold a grudge when it seems to be so much easier to do, but I know I will grow if I move forward. There have been things said by loved ones that have hurt either my feelings,/or my husband’s feelings, and some things we still are working through, but no matter what, I know that in the long run we can get through it with positive attitudes. Harsh comments and opinions are inevitable in this world, sadly, but we all have the agency to choose for ourselves whether or not we take them to heart or move on.
- Not allowing the temporal world to influence my divine purpose:
- There is a greater purpose for each of us than this mortal life we are currently living. I truly believe that we all have more to offer. When we focus so hard or so much on the mortal things, such as making more money, having all the newest nicest luxuries, or going on fancier vacations than anyone else, we are putting aside our divine purposes. I am not saying those temporal things are bad; money is crucial to surviving and living a life that allows us to care for our families, and having new and nice things is not bad so long as we are not using them as a way to prove we are better than anyone else. Going on fancy vacations can be incredibly thrilling and fun, but within reason and logic. With that being said, I know that life is only temporary, I am going to live it with as much joy and opportunities that help me to grow and gain knowledge as best as I can, but I choose not to let it override my faith, testimony, and spiritual purpose.
- Embracing the imperfections:
- I am beyond perfect, and each day that goes by, I am more aware of that. Before I got married and before I had children, I always imagined that when I got married, or when I had children, I would do this activity and that activity, and it would be so fun, and my children would listen no matter what, and my husband and I would agree on everything. I have to laugh at myself, because that’s hilarious that I thought it was going to go perfectly. It goes well in our home, but there are imperfections with everything. Imperfect people do not make perfect life choices, and imperfect people do not always have perfect days. It’s hard to accept that things will not go as I want them to. For example, I have high expectations for myself and my family. It’s good to hold expectations as it keeps our values high, but it is also important that we recognize that those expectations should be reasonable and reachable. Why would I create or expect someone or myself if it physically isn’t possible to achieve (or yet)? It wouldn’t be fair to myself or to anyone else I love. Embracing the imperfections is the best we can get right now, and I try my hardest to see that every day.
There are so many other things that I have done to become a better mom for my girls. I am still working on improving these things in my life even as I write this. I know I have a lot more to do in life to become the parent I want to be for my girls, but it’s all a work in progress, so I refuse to give up. I know it can seem daunting to become a mom, a wife, and remain an individual, but it is possible with working on yourself to become the best in all aspects of your life. Find joy in the journey, and give yourself grace and patience as you move forward with each improvement in your life to become your best. You can do this, as the movie Meet The Robinsons says, “Keep Moving Forward.”
“Behind every great child is a parent pretty sure that they are screwing it up.”
McKenna Sanders
The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog
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