The Mom, Wife, Dream Life

Does life ever get you down in the dumps? I can tell you right up front that it does get me down, more often than I let people think. For the most part, it’s simple to be happy, but that’s not always the case every day. Each day gets a little better, but each day that passes also becomes a little harder. 

What I mean is that the closer our world gets to the coming of God, the harder it gets to focus on the priorities of life, and the simple joys that God has granted each of us. These simple joys are our bodies, our eyes to see, ears to hear, mouth to speak and eat, and noses to smell, hands to hold, feet to walk, a brain to think, and a heart to pump and provide emotional experiences. Our bodies are walking miracles; some humans are born with some physical differences from others, but that doesn’t make them any less of a miracle, any less beautiful, handsome, or special to God. We are all here for a reason, a purpose, and I hope we can all recognize and feel that at some point in our lives.

What Are Simple Joys in Our Lives?

Other simple things that bring us joy should be the Earth itself. The sky, the clouds, the birds, the grass, the dirt, the oceans, the forests, and everything naturally occurring. I am grateful to be on this Earth to have sunshine, to have nights, and to experience the immense creativity it took to create such a detailed and beautiful planet as this one. 

Though these are simple joys to be thankful for, and to witness, experience, and cherish in life. Those things tend to be the easiest things to be happy about. There are moments in life when it gets hard to see the simple joys when we are so caught up in the current state of our day or our lives. Sometimes I get blinded by my thoughts, my feelings, my situation, or trial that I forget about the flowers blooming, the birds singing, or even the little ladybug that lands on our window. I never stop to think about those things when I’m feeling sad, lonely, upset, disappointed, or heartache. I tend to dwell on what’s going on in my life. 

Am I Always Happy?

I like to think I’m considered an overall happy person, and I’m sure a lot of people can attest to that, but I do have my moments of overwhelm and failures. If you’ve only seen me at my worst, I’m sorry, I hope someday you can see me when I’m feeling my best! Being a mom is hard. I have days where I feel on top of the world, getting to raise two beautiful little girls, and living my dream of being a mom. I also have days when it feels like to is so much that I can’t focus, or that I get way too overstimulated. Actually, without judgment, I’ll be completely honest with you. I get overstimulated by being a mom and the responsibilities it holds almost daily, if not at least every two days or so. Those feelings can last all day, but typically only last for a few hours. In those few hours, though, I feel so lost, so alone, confused, disappointed in myself, and completely defeated. 

Deep down, I can feel that those feelings will pass, but I don’t know when. I hope and pray they go away fast, because I can’t be the Mother I want when I’m so stuck in despair. I have to pick myself back up, take a deep breath, pray for peace of mind and heart, and that my words will be kind and loving (no matter how I am feeling, I don’t want to take that out on anyone). I find myself at a loss for what to do most times, and it’s exhausting for my mind, heart, and body to pack all those emotions and thoughts in. Thankfully, I have the best husband out there (no offense to you or yours), he knows when I’m not myself. He can tell when I have a lot on my mind, and when I’m about to crumble. He is there for me, no matter what. If he’s not here to physically hold me and tell me that I am enough, and doing the best I can, then he calls me, texts me, and offers that same support when he does get home. 

Is It Normal to Feel Down as a Parent?

I love my husband and my girls more than anything else in the world, but that doesn’t disqualify me from having those feelings, thoughts, emotions, and pain. Just because I have a good family, an overall good life, and incredible blessings does not mean that I do not get upset, sad, overstimulated, or feel alone. I am human after all, just like you. What you see on the outside is not always how it appears deep down. So when you feel like you are an overall failure, as a mom, a wife, an individual, a husband, a father, or in anything else, I promise, you aren’t. If you are feeling these feelings and actively still trying your hardest to make ends meet and be the best you can be, you are succeeding. Sure, failure happens to every single one of us in our lives, but being seen as a failure itself means you stopped caring, you stopped working to progress at anything and everything in life. I don’t believe in people being considered overall failures, because we are all trying our best here. When I feel like I’m a failure, I have to imagine all of the things I did do right in life, and I think about when I failed and how I used it to push me to be better, to try harder, and to achieve greater. 

Failure is what helps us to grow, to overcome, and to achieve more than we originally had in mind. What you are feeling can and will pass with the right help. You may not be able to overcome those feelings, thoughts, actions, or emotions on your own, as most of us can’t anyway. That is okay! Getting and seeking help, whether it be from a loved one, a friend, or a professional, is always warranted. You may be embarrassed to get help or seek advice, but it will be worth it when those negative and drowning feelings are gone. I promise you that you are never alone. Any mom, any wife, any individual, any husband, father, friend, and family member will tell you that they have had low points too. It’s who we turn to, and how we decide to rid our minds and hearts of those negative low points that matter. 

What Do I Do If I am Feeling Like I am Failing?

When you feel like you’re failing as a Mom, I can promise you, you aren’t! You are raising those babies, caring for and nurturing them with everything you have. You are giving them the life they deserve, because you know just how important life is. You may have gotten overwhelmed, overstimulated, upset, frustrated, sad, or disappointed, but that does not and will never change the love you have for your children. You love them forever, unconditionally, no matter what happens. Do you know what else? Your children will always and forever love you the same. You will always hold a special place in their hearts because of the love, support, guidance, and teachings you gave them when they were little and even now as they have grown. You are not a failure; you may have failed at some things, but you got right back up, you kept pushing forward, and you tried again. You are not alone, I see you, I’ve been you, and I am still trying too. 

If you want a good journal to capture your thoughts, feelings, and everything in between, this journal goes through each day in an easy way to help you jot things down without the overwhelm of a full story’s worth of a journal entry. Day by Day Guided Journal.

“Motherhood isn’t about perfection; it’s about being present and doing your best in every imperfect moment.”

These pictures were all days that were hard for me. I still showed up as a Mom, even though it was hard!

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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