The Mom, Wife, Dream Life

Before you judge me too much, know that I am not a perfect person, nor will I ever be in this life as much as I would like to be. It’s hard enough being human; being perfect simply is not a realistic expectation to set for myself in this life. 

I have struggled with body image for a long, long time. To be completely honest, I don’t remember a time when I didn’t struggle with it. It’s not easy for me to admit, as I say, “love your body the way it is, treat it sacredly and respectfully, don’t compare your body to others,” etc. I will be completely honest with you, I am a hypocrite when it comes to preaching self-love for one’s body/self. Maybe it’s because I want to love my body so much that I tell others they should to hopefully convince my mind that I feel complete love and acceptance towards my own. Do you feel this way, too, or am I just crazy?

How Have I Seen Myself in the Past?

I was never the fit into tight, tight skinny jeans girl that had the thinnest legs, I didn’t have the flat stomach that all the girls seemed to have. I didn’t have the right size boobs or butt. Somehow, I always found a way to self-criticize my body in comparison to the bodies of others around me. I still find myself doing that from time to time, and it’s not always easy to say, “My body is beautiful, I am enough the way I am.” There are days when I don’t feel pretty, days I don’t feel healthy enough, fit, or strong, but there are days, more like moments, that I feel confident in my skin, gorgeous, and put together. Sadly, those moments don’t last very long. 

Growing two tiny humans has been a beautiful opportunity that I have been blessed to have thus far in life. I have recognized the beauty inside and out that a pregnant woman possesses, but for some reason, that didn’t stick with me. Sure, I thought my bump was cute, and my features started to grow on me, but for certain parts of my body, I felt sad, and bummed that they were growing or disappearing all together. For instance, when I was pregnant, my face seemed to get bigger, which I know is normal, but it made me feel insecure. My boobs got bigger, which was fine by me as I finally looked more proportioned, but I lost my booty. My booty goes flat when I’m pregnant, and that made me bummed.. Ha, see what I did there.. Anyway, I was happy that my body was changing and accommodating the baby inside me, but I was a little sad that I was growing, stretching, and changing in ways I didn’t necessarily expect or immediately see as something to be happy or proud about.

Pregnancy is the most beautiful experience a woman can undergo, in my opinion. It grows you both literally and figuratively and allows you to become a more mature and nurturing human being. I find pregnancy to be stunning on women. Seeing a pregnant woman brings a smile to my face as I know a baby is going to be coming to earth soon. Babies bring so much joy to my life, and many lives in general. They are perfect little beings that rely solely on the care of their parents/guardians. They are pure, full of life, love, and happiness all in one tiny baby. 

It’s hard for me to put into words, but I preach body positivity so much, that I find everyone to be beautiful and handsome in their body and in their own way. I think you look great, I don’t think you are too skinny or too fat, I don’t see that as something a person should be defined by, but when I look at myself in the mirror that’s all I see that defines me, when I know deep down that’s not true. I’m working on it every day, and it helps to have people in my life who love me so much. Without them, I would be a wreck trying to piece my self-confidence back together all by myself (and with God, of course). 

How Can We Teach Our Children Body Positivity?

My husband does a great job of giving me compliments and making me feel beautiful. The compliments that we give to one another have seeped into the mind of our oldest daughter, E. There are times when I walk into her room in the morning and she says, “Ooh, I like your dress, Momma, it’s so pretty!” Or when my husband walks out of the bathroom after getting ready for the day, she tells him how handsome he looks. Compliments help boost self-esteem and confidence, and saying them in our house to one another grows my body positivity. Though it’s a work in progress, I know someday I will get to the point where I can look in the mirror and see how pretty, how beautiful, and how proud I am of myself and how far I have come to get to where I am. It may take years, but I know I can and will get there at some point. 

Postpartum hasn’t been easy on me this time around with my second baby. With E, I was able to drop the baby weight and get back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a few weeks. It’s been eight months since giving birth to baby U, and I still haven’t dropped the baby weight. I lost a lot of it, but not back to where I was pre-pregnancy. I shouldn’t be disappointed in myself as I grew a human, birthed a human, had emergency surgery three weeks postpartum, and have already had one baby previously. I should be proud, and not take my body and its amazing capabilities for granted. I love my body, I do think I am a pretty-ish woman, and I have some attractive features, but that doesn’t change my opinion on my weight, my thick thighs, my tummy rolls, or my arms.

How Have I Stayed Physically Fit?

 Each day that goes by, I work a little harder to love my body the way it is, and what it can do. Each day, I am learning to love my postpartum body. Each day, I am growing a little more self-confident in my health, strength, and flexibility. I know I won’t get rid of my self-doubt overnight, but with time, patience, and taking my body image issues one at a time, I can love my body even more.

Here are a few things I am doing right now to help me love my body more:

• Working out 3-5 days a week (it doesn’t have to be a long, super difficult workout; it can be as simple as going on a walk)
• Drinking more water throughout the day to stay hydrated
• Eating less junk food (I still allow myself to eat treats and snacks, just with more moderation and self-control)
• Focusing more on healthy eating by getting more fruits and veggies with meals
• Wearing things I want to wear (If I want to wear a dress but I’m nervous or self-conscious about it, I’m going to wear it, because it promotes healthy self-confidence in myself)
• Remind myself that I can do hard things (I say this to my toddler almost daily, so why can’t I remind myself of this?)
• Keep up on personal hygiene (making sure I wash my face, brush my teeth, do my hair, and shower regularly keeps me feeling clean, which boosts my body positivity)
• Making time for myself (make time for myself by doing things I like to do, such as playing the piano, singing songs, writing blogs, playing with my girls, or watching a movie with my husband)
• Reminding myself that my body has accomplished some really hard things (pregnancy, birth, surgeries, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is not easy)
• Keeping in touch with God (staying close to God helps me to know that He loves me for who I am, He is there for me always, and I will always be able to rely on Him for guidance, support, and acceptance)
• Believing the compliments (actively taking into account the compliments my sweet sweet husband gives me, and cherishing those little compliments my toddler says to me)

Seeking to love myself and my body is hard, but it is possible. I have struggled with body image, as well as postpartum body image. I look forward to the day that I look back at myself and say, “Dang, that’s me, and I am looking fine!” Learning to love your body is not an easy thing to do, especially when we are constantly comparing ourselves to those around us. Here’s a news flash for you in case you didn’t already know this. 

Why is It Important not to Compare Ourselves to Others?

I can almost bet that the person or people you are comparing yourself to also have insecurities they are dealing with. We are human beings, we are not perfect, nor were we made to be in this life. We are born to be unique, to be individuals with our own opinions, our bodies, our shapes, and sizes. You struggle just as much as the person next to you, so be kind, be charitable, and give a compliment when you like that person’s shirt, their smile, or even the way they carry themselves. One compliment can make all the difference in a person’s confidence. Who knows, it may even boost your own. 

“You don’t have to love your body to be kind to it.”

Photo by: dashphotographyrexburg

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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