The Mom, Wife, Dream Life

Before I had kids, people always said things like: “Sleep now, cause you won’t later,” or “You think you don’t sleep now, just you wait until your baby arrives.”

And to be completely honest, I despised it when people would say that, among other comments. It drives me crazy when people think that every baby, or every situation, is going to be the same as theirs was. I completely understood that babies are going to cry a lot, they are going to keep me and my husband awake a lot, but that doesn’t mean we won’t get sleep. Sleep is a little rough at first, as it usually is when something exciting is happening in a person’s life. 

Why is Sleep So Important?

If a person is stressed about their upcoming midterm, they probably won’t have the best night’s sleep of their life, but if someone is excited about going to a theme park within the next week, sleep probably won’t be amazing. Whatever is going on in your life, it affects your sleep, regardless of whether you want it to or not. Just like a new family member in the house, a baby is just as excited/nervous as you are as the parent, if not more so. All the baby knew was the mother carrying him/her, and the warm, comforting embrace surrounding him/her. Once the baby is born into the world, it’s scary not to have the constant sound of its mother’s heartbeat, to hear those tummy rumbles, and to be able to always have the warmth of her body.

With that being said, sleep gets interrupted. The baby used to sleep whenever he/she wanted to while in the womb, now there is day and night with respective sleep patterns. If you are in this boat, don’t worry, it will get better!

Did Our Children Sleep Well at Night?

When we had our oldest, she didn’t sleep that great as a baby, she was constantly waking up in the middle of the night wanting to be held and fed for comfort. When I’d try to nurse her, she would just fall back asleep, but would know the minute I put her back down and start crying again. It broke my heart to see her so sad and lonely. Then, we found a program that would help us. This program was designed to help parents and all of their sleep struggles. No matter what they were, there was an answer and solution to help. We had to pay for the class, but it was so worth it. We paid with the mindset that it was not only going to help us, but also help our baby. We then could take what we learned and apply it to our next children when they came to Earth.

After watching the videos, printing out the worksheets and charts, trial and error, we were able to sleep train E, and it was a night and day difference in her happiness and overall well-being. Not to mention, we too felt happier and more rested. This wasn’t right away, but with the simple steps and guidance we followed, we were able to get E the sleep she needed without having to wake up so much in the night. I was still nursing her for a long time, and at her 1.5 doctors’ check-up, her doctor asked me a very important question regarding her wakings in the night. He asked, “Are you feeding her at night because she wants it, or are you feeding her at night because you want to?” That question made me question why I was even feeding her at night, when she didn’t need to.

Was it Hard to go “Cold Turkey” On Feedings at Night For Our Oldest Child? 

Needless to say, I was only getting up to feed her/hold her at night because she wanted it for comfort to fall back asleep. She wasn’t even nursing, she just wanted to latch on and fall back asleep. So, that night, after telling Ethan what her doctor had said, we decided to do the cold turkey method, which her doctor had recommended. It was really hard for me to hear her cry, but to be honest, she didn’t cry for very long, and gradually fell back to sleep. And just like that, she was weaned of night wakings and feedings. This was complete luck on our part, because I think she was old enough to understand that she was completely capable of falling asleep independently, as she had been doing that since 6 months old.

I continued to nurse her throughout the day up until she was 22 months old, aka one year and ten months if you are nitpicky like that and want to know the years. That’s one thing that never made sense to me until I became a mom. I got incredibly annoyed when moms would say, “Oh, he’s 20 months,” instead of just saying he’s a year and eight months. It drove me crazy, but now that I’m a mom, I understand just how important it is to narrow it down to the month until they reach the age of two. Mostly because it all depends on the milestones a child is at, where one child at the age of one may be up and walking, there is another child is still learning to crawl. Anyways, back to sleep talk!

Did Sleep Training Get Better With a Second Child?

Sleep training with my second child has been much better than with my first. I’m not sure if it’s due to her being the second child, and so she always has some kind of noise going on while she sleeps, or if she just wants to sleep more. Either way, she’s been much easier to sleep train than with E. 

These are the steps we took to sleep train our girls following the class and guides given to us through our sleep training program:

• Sleep in the parents’ bedroom right from birth.
• Begin sleep training starting with scheduled naps around 5 months.
• Slowly start integrating naps into the crib in their room.
• Sleep train bedtime routines and sleeping in their own room at night.
• Wean night feedings to minimal or none.

You can add things according to your household’s needs, but this is what we followed along with specific dos and don’ts in accordance with the program. Sleep training worked for us because we were able to rely on someone who studied, researched, and worked in the medical field to know what is and isn’t safe for babies. We did our research, but having someone who does that for a living helped us have the confidence that what we were doing really was for the best for our babies in helping them get the rest and sleep they needed to grow and be the happy babies they were born to be. Sleep training can be as hard or as easy as you want it to be with the right information, practice, and patience. You will have hardships, trials, and messes, but it will all be worth it in the end of the hassle!

When sleep is a myth but love is real, you choose to love over the pain of waking up in the night. Those nights when I feel I can’t catch enough sleep, and the baby seems to be up more than normal, I want nothing more than for her to fall back asleep, knowing she’s safe, and for myself to go back to sleep. Even though I get incredibly tired and exhausted, my babies’ happiness, safety, and above all, their needs come first. Some nights I just needed and still do go in and comfort them at night, just so they know that I am there for them, and will always be there for them. 

Will I Continue to Wake Up When My Children Wake Up?

They are important to me, and though sleep training is important as well, it’s not as important as the needs of my children. Doing what is best for your children always comes first. If sleep training is not in the cards for you, or simply doesn’t work, don’t give up! There are so many options out there to help your babies safely sleep. If this program Ethan and I did is of interest to you, message me and I will send over the information so that you can finally get that night’s sleep you need to help you maintain your sanity. 

Sleep may have some bumps, but it doesn’t have to be terrible, as a lot of people claim it to be. Being a parent is the greatest blessing God has given me, and though sleeping is not perfect in our household, it works for us right now, even with a few moments that are more rough than others, often they create little moments to look back on and cherish knowing that holding my babies helps them to feel comforted, secure, and loved.

“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.”

McKenna Sanders

The Mom, Wife, Dream Life Blog

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